I am going out on a limb today, try to write honestly about my roller coaster relationship with blogging. Bekki (at the Creativity Cauldron) has some great advice about asking questions during creative process, I find this is a marvellous strategy especially when I am encountering blocks.
I have been struggling with this blog recently, mostly because I feel torn in several directions:
When I first started my blog I wanted it to be an authentic space, where I can express who I am.
Over and above that was an opportunity for interaction with others – to have a discussion about the things that matter to me.
Since I wrote stories in school, I had a passion to be a published writer – back then it would have been an incredible feat; now it is easy.
It still gives me a little thrill to click a button that says publish! I can get my writing out there for people to read: how great is that? To be noticed – to have an audience. I want it out there.
My little web within this massive world wide web that says
But…After a few months I realised I want a successful blog, I would read other blogs and notice that they had hundreds of followers, or comments!
(Comments were as rare as hens teeth on my blog for well over a year!)
It was not enough to write and be published, I wanted a response and so I had to get my voice heard, attract followers, get noticed – get something back.
With all this connectivity, it was no longer talking within my circle of friends, or at my local ladies group or even in my community. its like getting my voice heard globally, among the whole world of blogs, and honestly, sometimes I feel as if I am competing to be heard – while everyone in the world is singing ‘I’d like to teach the wold to sing’ (you have to be a certain age to remember that coca cola advert!).
I started to read about blogging, actually laying out funds for books like…. ‘In order to have a successful blog I should be doing…. x y z’ – or an on line course… your guide to the first 1000, followers.. after reading all these my blog felt like a job in itself and not the fun I thought it would be.
The advice suggested my blog should be different:
- I needed to focus on one subject matter.
- I should be mindful that people needed to be motivation to read my blog, I had to give them a reason to read.
My blog was no longer about me and my voice but pleasing everyone else.. you know the saying … you end up pleasing no-one and driving yourself crazy in the process.
sigh – back to the initial question,
Why am I writing a blog?
(I made a mind map…using colourful felt tip pens, a big piece of paper and a great deal of writing I came up with a few reasons)
One of the first thoughts was that blogging has dented my confidence at times.
While my circle of friends are encouraging about my creative endeavours enough for me to want to share it with the world, it has been daunting.
There are lots of talented people on the web, with quantifiable numbers of blog followers blinking away on screen. There are times when my efforts looks so small, especially when its followed by a deafening silence.
I realised I need a strategy to make me more resilient to maintain a balance and perspective. Nothing more than a way to re-frame thinking and curbing my competitive nature so that I still feel I have something to add to this global creative soup.
Advice tells me to stick to one subject yet I resist; restricting my blog to a specific theme goes against my desire to express myself feely – yet it does make logical sense. I would not like to pick up a magazine on crafts and find articles about motor bike repairs!
I live a varied life, with many interests – narrowing my blog means choosing! Do I start multiple blogs about different aspects of my life?.. that would require a lot more time and makes me feel exhausted just thinking about it.
The process highlights that I need to separate the business aspect of my life, to support my classes and my writing. It thrills me that students ask for details of my blog but I hesitate because it is so personal. So I shall be maintaining a blog about my sewing – and maybe a second for all that is left over.
This questioning session has been useful, I need to create a balance -decide how much of my time and effort I wish to give to this process realistically. There is only so much time you can spend recording and cataloguing your life rather than simply living it. This post itself has taken me the best part of a working day to compose.
The overwhelming conclusion of all this pondering is that I love blogging, despite its ups and downs.
I read a lot of inspirational blogs that are thankfully honest about their journey; they have written posts about how difficult it is at the beginning. Some have generously shared their process. Some allow a peek behind the scenes to a more balanced perspective from the blog ‘shop window’ with their beautiful photography, lives of blissful creativity and blog following counter in three figures. (Numbers are so quantifiable that it is hard to resist the comparison)
As I follow other people’s blogs I am privy to these lives, I learn about the positive pregnancy test, the trips to tea rooms and valentines meals, the creative up cycling or revamping, the adorable crochet hat for a newborn nephew.
A notification about a new post, feels like hearing from a distant acquaintance – over time a new type of friendship develops as I follow the journey they are on. Their advice or experience is often a nugget of wisdom that carries me forward on my journey. Can I really have that type of relationship with thousands of followers?
Blogging transcends borders and is a pleasant place to hop around the globe!
I can read about women in other countries enjoying the same small joys of living every day, in a different climate or culture; they are usually upbeat. We all struggle, we all strive for greatness and we deserve to tell our story.
Reading blogs is positive, for example Jen was posting on her blog (Make do and Mend) about the little libraries set up in her village, it is such a delightful idea. Reading about these positive things creates a balance towards the wonderful things that are happening in this world – an alternative to the catastrophic dismal tirade that is ‘News’.
In this enormous crowded world wide web where it can be surprisingly lonely – I have been profoundly encouraged by my blog readers, especially when they take the time to comment.
It is with that in mind that I try to do the same, because I know how much those few words at the end of a post mean.
In writing this honest account of my struggles, I hope that it encourages others who might wrestle with their blog, or their creativity – to feel the fear and do it anyway.
Perhaps someone else is reading this and has strategies that has helped them overcome these barriers, I hope they are willing to share here or point me in the right direction.
No matter what, it feels good to be writing and pressing that little button ‘publish’.